This whole thing is based on my own life experiences and of course is purely opinionated but I think it will ring true for the many of us that joined the Parent 'Hood.. Of course if you wildly disagree then that's fine, why not put your opinions in the comments and we can have a chat about it, but for the sake of writing something here's my two cents:
So I want to start with my own childhood. As is the case with many of my friends I grew up in a slightly dysfunctional family. I never knew my dad. He didn't die, he just didn't give a shit and didn't want to be a dad and had no interest in being a part of his sons life. My mum did, and continues to do the most she possibly can for me but that meant working as hard as she possibly could in order to give us both a reasonable life and that left me without family around the majority of the time. I've always preferred alternative music, initially getting myself into Metallica and Motorhead and anything fast and heavy. When I found Punk in the form of The Offspring, Blink 182, Mxpx and The Ataris (amongst others) I felt I had found my home. Every second of my life since then, no matter how much it spiraled out of control had this one constant. Punk. Tim Armstrong and Mike Herrera became the father figures I never had for long enough growing up and I turned to those people standing on a stage singing of real life to find my path and on occasion put myself back together. Eventually becoming the proper human being I am today.
I am in equal measures completely indifferent and impassioned by the fact I had no father growing up. I don't
blame him for any of the multitude of mistakes I've made and would rather have one parent who loves me with all their heart than have a matching pair and one of them be a tool. Then again if I had the father we all as children deserve then maybe I wouldn't have crept so close to the edge of death and insanity before I found a way to fix myself. Shouldn't all kids have a guiding patriarch that will bring them back to redemption when they've strayed too far down a dark path? I think so yeah, because I have romanticized the idea of what it truly means to be a good father in my head over the 30 odd years I haven't had one.
So anyway enough about me, what about punk rock parents? Well my point is that I know a lot of people in the punk community may not share my dysfunction story but they sure can relate to it or have another story of a troubled or broken home that would fit as easily into this story. The one thing we all have in common is that we never want to be that broken link in the chain, because we've felt the pain that it causes and though we find solace in those who have had similar experiences we would never willingly wish that on anyone. Especially when that person is born of our own DNA! We that have lived through difficult emotional turmoil or worse and are compelled not to let that happen to the offspring we so dearly love. Their circumstance will not be our own and whether we can bestow riches and fortune or not we will always provide love and care and nurturing to the utter limit of our abilities.
To me this means being as hands on as I possibly can, I will answer every question and attend any and all child social functions that are demanded of me. It has meant that I have been able to bath, change, feed and generally care for my daughter since day one. It means I keep another private blog that I write to her in the future so that she will know when she is older that I have always loved her with all my heart. All the parents I know are similarly devoted in their own way and it's my hope that we all raise a generation of humans who have known love all their lives and become excellent people in return.
To me this means being as hands on as I possibly can, I will answer every question and attend any and all child social functions that are demanded of me. It has meant that I have been able to bath, change, feed and generally care for my daughter since day one. It means I keep another private blog that I write to her in the future so that she will know when she is older that I have always loved her with all my heart. All the parents I know are similarly devoted in their own way and it's my hope that we all raise a generation of humans who have known love all their lives and become excellent people in return.
I'm not saying broken homes are exclusive to punk and I'm not saying that every punk is a fantastic parent, but what I am saying is that we will always do everything in our power to mitigate the pain of our formative years.
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