Today is not a day for bands, unfortunately. It's also not a day for anything particularly music related. Instead I'm going to talk on a subject that count as one of the very few pet peeves I have and a few reasons why this annoys me so. The thing that got this all riled back up in my head was possibly the worst facebook post I have ever seen by a "punk" band. This whining, snivelling self pitying pile of badly written nonsense encapsulated everything wrong with the punk scene for me and I'd like to take a moment to say "do you know what, if that is what punk is then I'm truly glad I'm not. Here's five reasons I shouldn't call myself punk anymore:
1. I Give A Shit
It's almost the golden rule of punk rock isn't it? give no fucks. If you have a fuck to give then you aren't doing punk properly. Right? well do you know who else gives no fucks and only looks out for themselves? Big Brother Contestants. Jeremy Kyle. Katie Hopkins. Bank Managers. Simon Cowell.
I guess I don't want to be in those peoples clubs. I do give a fuck. I care that in doing the things I want to do that I don't detract from other peoples happiness. Am I a people pleaser? Well yes, that's the entire reason I sing in a band, I want people to enjoy what I'm doing. "But you can't worry about everybody all the time" I imagined you saying just now, that may well be true but I can give a little consideration to how people feel before I react to something. So this may be my age talking too, I'm well aware of that, but then again people that have stayed friends with me for a long time can heartily agree I was a prick when I was younger and am a much better person to be around now. So yeah, why not just spare a moment to think about the repercussions of your actions, or y'know, just keep being a tool.
2. Anything Politics
Man Fuck UKIP, and Britain First. Those guys are blights on the face of the earth as far as I'm concerned. The real issue I have with them though is that they (from what I have seen of life) really do represent the views of middle britain (I mean the average person, not like Birmingham or any specific location). That's what angers me. What I don't have is a view on policy reform, taxes, umm anything else that sounds like a political thing. I don't passionately hate the major parties for whatever things they've done and I guess that makes me a bad person in the eyes of the politically charged but hell that's just not me. I'm an escapist, I lose myself in books about fantasy worlds and in comics and role playing games and in playing music in my band. It's not that I don't care about politics, but if you want an example of what happens with a shift in power then look at the rubbish piling up in the streets because our champion left took control. Things will not necessarily be better with an upheaval and I'm too busy making sure my family are provided for to drop everything for a total revolution.
3. I am old
Old people always used to bang on about punk when I was a teenager. They would tell me I didn't know what good punk was and that the shitty 90s groups I was listening to weren't real punk. I would tell those stupid old men to go and fuck themselves. Punk was whatever the fuck I wanted it to be because it was mine, ours, and by that I meant it was a teenage thing that some stupid old jerk in a pub with a gammy knee that "used to be punk" could never ever understand because he was past it.
Well now the music of my youth is twenty years old and I generally don't like what teenagers listen to (unless it's what I listen to). Punk at it's core has always been a teenage rebellion that old people and the media labelled punk. Telling a kid that there act of rebellion isn't punk because it doesn't conform to genre rules is the absolute least "punk" thing in the world to do. I don't like what the kids are listening to these days, and that's ok.
4. I'm not offensive
This seems to be another staple of punk rock 101 that got a little skewed with time. When punk first burst onto daytime telly and top of the pops back in the day it was considered hugely offensive. Back when "dirty bloody rotter" was the height of bad language the punks were seen as pioneers of offense and somehow this turned into a rule where you have to be offensive no matter what to everyone you come across. I once played a show in Chichester (the punk rockest town in England) and this girl was stood at the front shouting abuse at me and spitting at me the whole time. When we finished she then tried to stick her tongue down my throat, clearly under the impression that since I was playing punk that all of her punky offensiveness would be a huge turn on for me. It was and we proceeded to have a forgettable evening but that's beside the point. There was no need for it and being offensive for offensive sake is just a stupid concept. Chav kids with their stupid slang and gang signs and appropriated black culture offend me today. So that just means the baton has been passed.
5. I don't like punk rock music that much.
I am a musician. I may not be a good musician but I am one. I play to the best of my abilities and I hope that when I perform in front of a crowd of people that they have a good time and want to see me do it again someday. I am especially in love with Melodic Hardcore these days like The Human Project and Darko, bands that blow me away with incredible musicianship and that clearly strive to be at the absolute top of the field. I don't really like just shouting into a mic whilst someone butchers three chords and a drummer barely plays a beat. That's what I hear a lot of the time when I listen to purist punk bands. I remember being played on a radio station a while ago. The song they played was Plus One which is an acoustic ballad dedicated to my daughter. the song before I think was about cunts and beer and beer cunts and cunt beers or something. I don't really know because I couldn't understand it. It's weird. The UK seems to be the only country still churning out bands like this. It all just reminds me of football chanting and is often a breeding ground for racism and sexism. I love a belting harmony. I love a screaming solo. I love super tight double time drums. I love light hearted and funny music. I guess I don't love punk.
